Pregnancy and Preparing for a baby

The beginning

( I started this before the munchkin arrived and finished a month later. )


Gender - We decided not to find out the gender of the baby since the beginning. Since baby clothes are so split by gender and colors it can be a bit annoying to find uni-sex stuff that isn't grey but overall I'm glad we didn't find out. It's totally your choice. Many people have told me what they think we're having which when it's a random stranger on the street can be a bit weird but otherwise we're just excited to meet the little baby.


Books about pregnancy: 

Expecting Better: This is the first book I read and I'm so grateful it was recommended. A PHD Economist decided to take the list of pregnancy "don'ts" and actually look at the research behind all the "no"s (Like alcohol consumption, sushi, soft cheese etc). Her findings from the actual research was quite astonishing - well astonishing in the fact that the amount of alcohol you have to drink for there to be major issues for the baby is a lot. Don't get me wrong, I'm not advocating a drink every day or  drinking at all, but I think it's important to be aware of the actual research and the "why" behind these rules to make your own decisions. This book made me feel more in charge of the decisions of what I was eating and knowing what, if any, risks there might be. This book gave me the freedom to choose and I didn't get stressed out if I ate some cheese or salami or had a drink before I knew I was pregnant, and instead, after knowing, made my own decision about what to eat or drink.  Of course, after week 5 until about 20, I felt pretty sick so eating anything besides crackers, carbs or apples didn't happen. But after I started to feel better, I enjoyed lots of things!

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth - this book changed my entire attitude about birth and being a woman. It is a great, encouraging book about how incredible a women's body is and how to create a positive birth experience that supports you and your partner in a medical system that can sometimes view pregnancy as a disease. It definitely questions many of the current medical practices in the US around birth but you can take what you need and create the space you want for your birth.

Birth Prep Reading: 
Along with the above information I found these resources really helpful:

The Positive Birth Book - I read this book in the last month and really enjoyed the quick read and positivity. It was very encouraging as well and goes through all the scenarios allowing you to prepare for all outcomes and think about your desires. We decided to use the birth plan icons to create our birth plan wishes which I think are pretty cool.

www.evidencebasedbirth.com - Another great resource for looking at the research and information behind of the common practices. A good way to get a base to make your own decisions!

https://www.mamanatural.com/ - Someone gave me her incredible motivational cards for birth and I loved them.


Podcasts: 
The Birth Hour - I listened to a lot of these which gave me an appreciation for all of the different ways birth can happen and how things can change. It also helped me to understand all of the different things that can happen. It was so educational and very moving to hear all the stories. Highly recommend. Also, I noticed I only listened to the natural birth stories at first, but later forced myself to listen to the stories of c-sections/forceps etc to be ready for anything!

Also, the Birth Hour website has a great page of resources of recommended items for all stages: https://thebirthhour.com/resources/birth/

Pillow:
Having a pillow really helped me get more comfortable but I tried not to have it in between my knees with my knees sitting on top of each other as it made my knees really sore! I liked this one we found on amazon: Pillow (UK amazon)

Also if you get leg cramps, I bought Magnesium as a spray and that worked really well to get rid of them for weeks at a time.

Items we bought: 

We had these spreadsheets to help us organize what we wanted to buy for both baby and my own preparations. Here are links to a public version of what I bought:

Baby Prep 

Momma Prep

Our Trip to Iceland

We traveled to Iceland at the end of August- an under 3 hour flight from London's Gatwick airport. For those of you who travel from or back from the States, consider traveling via Iceland. There are quite a few airlines doing a stopover scheme which is really a fantastic idea: Icelandic Air and WowAirways.

We had a wonderful trip. We based our trip around Selfoss, a city in the south, about an hour's drive from Reykjavik.

We stopped by the Blue Lagoon but didn't go in. it was a little pricey and the pools are man made from the nearby geothermal plant. It looks cool and everyone loves it so I'm sure you'll have fun if you go. We however went into a hot spring called the Secret Lagoon and loved it. It was absolutely gorgeous scenery, small and felt so wonderful! 

We drove the Golden Circle in 1 day.  The Golden Circle is a tourist name that connects a couple of incredible sights that are pretty close to each other Gelfoss (waterfall), Geysir (the original Geysir) and Þingvellir (where the North American and Eurasian tectonic plates meet). Since you're in the area, you can also hit up the Secret Lagoon and this incredible volcanic crater: Kerið

We did a long day trip to see Jökulsárlón It was totally worth the 4 hour drive from where we stayed. The drive is stunning, lots of glaciers, and volcanos. Gorgeous! Looking at the incredible scenery helps the hours fly by. This lagoon has been featured in a couple of big movies - Lara Croft Tomb Raider and 007's Die Another Day. It was stunning. 

Reykavik is a fun city to walk through. The old quarter has a lot of cute shops and colorful buildings. 

If you enjoy seeing the Northern Lights, save this website on your phone: http://www.aurora-service.eu/aurora-forecast/. 

The website forecasts the aurora borealis and shows timings and maps. We found it so useful! If you live in the Northern Hemisphere, you can use this website to track potential aurora sightings, the numbers will predict if your location (based upon KP number) has a chance to see the auroras. Enjoy!

It wasn't truly dark until well into the early morning hours but even still we got to see an incredible Northern Lights show. Words can't really describe it. One fascinating part is that after a while of looking at the lights, your eyes don't detect the colors (to me they looked like white ribbons of light) and only in the pictures did the green color really turn out. 

Finally, the moment you've been waiting for, PHOTOS! Grab a cup of tea and settle in, because you're in for a treat:

Patrick's First Blog: http://trick.vanstaveren.us/wp/2016/08/29/iceland/

Our first night with the Northern Lights: http://trick.vanstaveren.us/wp/2016/09/01/iceland-aurora-borealis/


Golden Circle 

Sunset

Driving the Ring Road 

Jökulsárlón (it's not pollution, it's actual volcanic ash that causes the icebergs to look 'dirty')

Northern Lights -The second night  (I took a bunch of these!)

Northern Lights - the third night (the clouds didn't cooperate)

Everything Else

My Whole30 Journey

For the past 30 days, Patrick (my husband) and I have embarked on a new food journey: to eradicate our diet of lots of sugar and instead focus on food that nourishes and fills our bodies. We've eaten veggies, fruits, and proteins and no grains, added sugars, alcohol, dairy etc for the last 30 days. We followed the outline of the Whole30 program found here: http://whole30.com/.

(basically no fun! just kidding....sort of)

Now today is day 30 which means starting tomorrow I'll do 10 days of reintroductions of foods I've been avoiding to see if my body reacts negatively/neutrally to help me going forward with my food choices.

I wanted to do this 30 day program for a few reasons:
1) to commit to something and actually finish it
2) to take a more active role in my wellbeing

Before this I definitely craved sugary things to help with my energy (even just fruit juice) and while I didn't eat a lot of sweets, I do love pasta and cheese.  In fact, most of my cravings over the last 30 days have all been cheese. I think once I wanted some chocolate but really, I just want a plate of cheese please. :) And I don't mean American cheese crap. I want a bite of parmesan, a bite? Who am I kidding? I'll take a brick please and a fork, thank you very much. (the smell of parmesan soothes my soul, what can I say, I blame the Italian blood in me)

 YUM 

I'll admit overall, I'm disappointed with how my body has reacted/how I've been feeling. A lot of the success stories revolve around have tons of energy, sleeping well, and feeling great and I think I've felt that two days of thirty. It doesn't help that we've been sick the last few days but overall, I didn't experience much of the "tiger blood" energy that a lot of people describe. I haven't slept better, I've been waking up tired and irritable just like before.  Our digestive systems have been totally out of whack. One thing I know I need to do better as I move forward is just to eat more. I realized around day 20 that I may not be getting quite enough food. So I'll continue to plan Whole30 meals and keep lots of veggies for snacks in the house.  In fact, fruit has become quite sweet enough for me.

So it's not all bad.  I do feel like I've "slain the sugar dragon" as they say. I don't feel motivated to eat lots of carbs like before nor do I really want sweet things.

One of the best benefits is that it's forced me to meal plan and cook a lot more than I've done in our whole marriage. While we were living in China, because eating out is soo cheap and ingredients I recognized are expensive, we ate out a lot. I mean a lot. And I've gotten lazy cooking for just the two of us. However, that's definitely changed the last month. I've discovered awesome new ingredients and combinations that I'll definitely keep using.

One of the hardest things is feeling the stress of not finding anywhere to really eat out. While I will continue to follow a lot of the Whole30 concepts, I'm looking forward to feeling like I can grab a salad with a little cheese and chicken with mayo on it in the future and be ok. Feeling like I don't have anything to eat is a terrible anxiety of mine and with the Whole30 it has forced me to be more prepared. I definitely didn't do this perfectly, but I look forward to continuing to grow in this area. I need to prepare more food for myself to have around the house for snacks. and not just carrots sticks because if I keep eating those I think I'm going to turn into a rabbit.

Overall, I'm glad we did this. It was definitely an interesting experiment and I'm proud to have maintained 30 days! (I know of one slip up that we only discovered days later because we were at a party and I didn't read the ingredients correctly but I let that one go). It was just hard to read the constant e-mails and see how wonderful I should be feeling when that's not how my body responded. and I'm not really convinced that doing this for a lot longer may help. What I'm going to try and do is see how I continue respond to various vegetables and see if I feel worse/better/indifferent as we start the reintroduction process. Maybe that's when I'll notice a difference.

Another interesting side note, I love all the coconut milk but my body can't handle coconut oil for some reason. That's probably not very scientific but I found that my body would react with bloating/tired symptoms after using coconut oil but not the same with coconut milk. Very weird. But once I stayed away from coconut oil, I've been ok.

Also, OLIVES! They became my number one favorite snack. Whole30 said eating olives right from the can is ok, so there I went! I have really enjoyed exploring lots of different olives and will continue to always have some on hand.

So yes, there have definitely been some benefits and I do feel like I've lost a little weight. But I also want to encourage people who maybe aren't feeling awesome and have had weeks of diarrhea (like we struggled with), that maybe your body will just respond differently to this system and to still be encouraged that you're doing a good thing for yourself. You're focusing on your health, and working for good, which for a person like me who forgets to pay attention to what her body needs, is a pretty big step in itself.


ps. I realized something else that's changed. I used to be in the habit of using food as a "reward". usually wine, chocolate or cheese as a prize for a hard day, something good etc etc, whatever the excuse, I used it. The Whole30 has helped me curb that food reward structure and recognize that food is food, food is to nourish and sustain and isn't a prize and I should reward in other ways, take care of myself in other ways: like singing, getting a massage, reading a book, journalling etc.

Kew Gardens - Christmas Light Walk

So much has happened these last six months and I have much to post, so I thought I would start with our latest adventure: Kew Gardens at night.  It was nearing 50 degrees F so it didn't feel very Christmas-y to us. But we were excited to explore the beautiful park.  I had traveled to Kew Gardens with the American Women's Club a month before but this was Patrick's first visit.  I look forward to going back in the Spring and the daylight.  

Dark comes late and early here in London, rising around 8:02am and setting at 3:52pm today. Lots of darkness these days. But when visiting a Christmas light production, the darkness is ideal.  

We enjoyed a pulled pork sandwich, trying to be in the best spirits to enjoy the festivities.  We started the festive trail and walked through 8-10 holly bushes wrapped in lights, each with a speaker emitting a different voice part. I enjoyed the sensory overload of lights and sounds. 

As we continued down the path, this magnificent tree was well illuminated.  Interesting view to see all of the branches of the tree, definitely a different view then summer. 

In the distance, we could see flames (controlled flames), so we continued down the path. As it was late Thursday evening, I didn't anticipate a large crowd, but unfortunately, I was wrong. There were many people, and large family groups so our movement was limited to following the pack which did bring back some unpleasant memories of China and just masses of people jostling you. But we tried to enjoy the views.  Then we came upon a large field with trees surrounded by small flames in jars. Each tree had flames surrounding the bottom of the tree and then the flames lead to this tree with a phoenix at the top.
To be honest the whole scene was fairly bizarre and didn't quite understand the statement the exhibit was trying to display. Unless there is a story in English literature that I'm unaware of about the Christmas phoenix? Maybe the fire represented the ashes the phoenix was reborn of -a somewhat odd analogy to the birth of Christ?

After the odd fire display, the scene turned much more festive with dangling lights, and even a light/water show on the main lake with timed lighting against the infamous Palm House. It was a pretty view on a beautiful (and rare) clear night in London. I probably wouldn't spend the money to go again unless we had a rare white London Christmas. Overall, I was underwhelmed by the lights. Lots of good potential.  Of course, there were kid's rides, a cafe and gift show. Even Santa arrived. 

I guess I'm jaded about Christmas-unless it's freezing outside, just doesn't feel quite like we've made it through Advent yet.  Ahh well, it was a fun date night, good to be enjoying the beautiful London evening. Here's more photos: 

Merry Christmas! 

Heading West: Moving from Shanghai to London

We've almost been in London a month! Time is certainly flying. I am so grateful to finally have moved and not have the stress of "moving someday" hanging over our heads anymore. As I start to settle into life here in London I am aware of how my body and soul are slowly beginning to heal after a (fun) but stressful life in Shanghai.

I definitely miss parts of China. We made some incredible friends that became our family in Shanghai and I know even though we live all over the globe, we will stay in touch and celebrate the family things (weddings, babies, etc :) ).
I miss the food a lot. The family style eating is my favorite way to eat at restaurants. Order a bunch of dishes and share. My favorite foods in China were: Hot Pot, Xiaolongbao, Lajiazi, and beef noodles.

Our last week we stayed in one of the tallest buildings in Shanghai-Jin Mao Tower . We stayed on the 79th floor and the views were incredible.  Only at these heights can you begin to see past Shanghai. Just barely though. As you can see, it is just a sea of tall buildings in Shanghai, makes for quite a different view than the ones you get in Northern Wisconsin. The concrete jungle is a little stifling. And often even in the parks with grass, you are just supposed to stay on the concrete paths, no nature for you!

Don't look down!

One morning we woke up in the clouds, you couldn't see anything all day besides the building I was in: 

Our last morning in Shanghai! From above! 

The move to London had been planned since before I moved to Shanghai so it made it difficult to get settled into Shanghai knowing I was leaving soon. Of course, it ended up being a lot longer than anticipated but it made it hard to dig in.

The absolute hardest part about living in Shanghai for me was not speaking the language fluently. Linguistics is not a talent I possess. I learned some Mandarin words so I could buy vegetables or take a taxi but that's it. Being unable to speak or ask questions and not read the signs or labels is so debilitating. It's making me anxious just writing about it. Needless to say, my anxiety and depression sky rocketed in Shanghai. It makes me feel so helpless to not be able to speak to anyone. I am grateful to my friends who would often translate for me!

I will not miss cars honking every .5 seconds -I jumped almost every time. Many of the issues I struggled with (besides the language barrier) were big city issues and not necessarily "China" issues.  I think we, as Americans, can learn from a society that's been around thousands of years and not just write them all off because they are supposedly Communist. I say supposedly because really it's a Capitalistic Dictatorship country. If anyone in the Chinese Communist Party has read Marx's writings they conveniently skipped over the rules about shared wealth.

As an outsider, you can see the wounds of General Mao's leadership-namely, people don't speak up or say their own opinions, they are happy to just exist in the box they are supposed to so they don't get killed or disappear.  Of course, some people do and get arrested.

I am writing this from the comfort of my new home in London. In China, I hesitated to write anything too negative because there is a real fear of the government. Don't believe me? See the news recently about the Human Rights lawyers all detained? Way to go IOC for supporting a country that has so much censorship and human rights abuses.

Anyway, the censorship in China is almost unbelievable to an American like me. The government there seems so afraid they keep trying to control every little detail. I think it will backfire on them at some point, but as long as the common man continues to make money and better their life, people don't have a big reason to riot. I did speak to some local Chinese that said the censorship doesn't matter because they all have VPN's and can get around the Chinese Firewall, everyone is a member of the Communist Party but that doesn't mean they support it.

We did some pretty incredible vacations in China. Harbin -awesome Ice and Snow festival, Great Wall hikes, Huangshan Mountain, Hong Kong, etc. And we barely saw the country. China is HUGE! So much regional history and culture as well, it's truly a fascinating place. There is natural beauty, it just takes time to get out of the big city to find it.


And now we've moved to another center of society: London. It's a big, loud city as well but we've managed to find a house that's not downtown and is so quiet at night our ears ring. There are been some unforeseen hiccups but we are finally starting to settle in and buy some furniture.
I'm auditioning for some choirs in the next few weeks so I'm excited about the music opportunities here. We've already been to two shows: The Book of Mormon and 1984. Those shows couldn't be more opposite.


Patrick wrote a fantastic blog post about life in China: http://trick.vanstaveren.us/wp/

Book your tickets now for a London adventure! We have guest rooms!

xo, Sarah

ps. I've had a few moments over the past few weeks that have confirmed that this is where we are supposed to be. One happened last night when there was a double rainbow directly over our house:

Genesis 9:16 "Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth.”

Hiroshima and the A-Bomb

I've starting writing and rewriting this post many times of the last few months. I've sat down to write and just been at a loss. Visiting Hiroshima last November was a very powerful experience. Patrick's dad used the word "sobering" and I thought that encompassed a lot of the feelings I've had.

First, a bit about what you see there. In Hiroshima, there is a large peace park, memorial, museum and the Atomic Dome building.

The Atomic Dome building was directly under the bomb, as the bomb exploded about 600 meters above it. All of the people in the building instantly died but the building remained somewhat in tact. You can see here how there wasn't much left standing around it:

  Residents of Hiroshima decided (eventually, it was discussed to tear it down) to keep the building as an important symbol of what happened.   There is a fund that is maintained to keep the building as a symbol for centuries to come.

The Dome and grave for victims:

The Memorial, was very peaceful and quiet. There was an interesting cross section of what the ground under Hirmoshima looked like now. A foot of dirt, then lots of rubble. There was an exhibit in one of the memorials regarding the censorship by the United States of what happened and the aftermath of the bomb.  So many photos and stories were prohibited from being told during the US occupation. It is eye-opening to see one's country from the outside, from a new lens. The hypocrisy is baffling. Check out the story of Children of Hiroshima, one of the first first hand accounts of what life was really like that day and those following.

The limitation of information is a scary thing, and yet we have it all the time. We often just get one side of the story-today's new websites always have a spin, often it is only after seeking out various news pages one can get a glimpse of the different views.  I am often overwhelmed by how much news is available that I can't just stare at it with no compassion or sympathy as a defense mechanism.  (Although less and less is available with more and more internet censorship occurring all over the world) It is so often bad news-images of hate and anger. I feel so overwhelmed I don't want to get out of bed.  How can we cope emotionally any more? How can we change anything?

The museum was horrific. No one should have to experience what those people did. So many stories of parents looking for their children or vice versa. So many tales of physical sufferings.  It was heart wrenching. The museum was tastefully done, it didn't brag or make excuses-it just described what happened. That being said, it was pretty gory but because that's what happened. It showed many photos of the bodies that were hit that day or experienced many diseases in the years to come. One thing I had not really thought through was the damage done to the unborn. So many people's lives damaged because of pride, greed and warfare.

I wish that everyone could have a chance to visit Hiroshima and see the sights of what happened that day. Though, many people throughout the world live in a Hellish situation today. It was humbling as an American knowing that it was my government and my nation that brought this pain on this particular area. I know that Japan did a lot of terrible things during the war as well. But these bombs were the biggest of the time, and now there are many that are so much more powerful.

It was an overwhelming day. You know what was missing? Hate, anger and vengeance. What I was filled with rather was sadness, peace and a resolve to work for peace. That's what the people of Hiroshima taught me.

I know I will never know all the variables that went into the decision to drop the atomic bombs. I wonder if anyone really knew what all the affectss would be on those lives that were impacted by the bomb and the radiation aftermath.  Probably not. But hopefully, I can bring in some light to the world-work to bring in joy and not hate in my little daily actions. Maybe those will make all the difference.

Quite possibly the best photos I've ever taken, at least some of the most fun

Here in AZ, I've been enjoying some R&R and lots of packing time with my grandparents. Gram has a hummingbird feeder and Patrick left me the fancy camera to play with this week.  Here's some of the best ones I got today:

Enjoy! Much love!