I'm not a screamer. But in the last week I've been tempted to scream at the top of my lungs almost everyday. Usually for different reasons.
You see a week ago my entire world shifted. While I left the US a month ago today, we've only been officially living in Shanghai since the last weekend of October because we took a long and awesome honeymoon. I have to remind myself everyday that I've only actually made this my home last week and really can be more patient with myself adjusting.
People are people everywhere but everything here is different. And I would just love to find pudding mix at a store, please!
The language is the most overwhelming. I consider myself an intelligent person, a lover of learning, and the thought of not being able to communicate or explain myself makes me want to scream and cry. (thus the beginning comments about screaming). I've never felt so utterly useless and alone. So of course, the answer would be to go and learn the language. It's much easier to hide under the covers.
On the plus side, I'm hanging out with my husband a lot. MY HUSBAND! That is amazing. He is amazing, his love for me is overwhelming and I'm just basking in it and cooking him lots of yummy dinners. In other good news, I've joined the church choir and man, my vocal chords are out of shape. But I'm excited for the opportunities. Plus, they are doing an Advent Lessons and Carols type event and singing some of Handel's Messiah. My day was made when I heard that! LOVE IT.
So slowly, I'll find my place in the city. It's loud, overwhelming and full of great food to explore. But that doens't mean it isn't hard to walk down the street and see things and people and know that I have no way to express myself in words to a majority of the people. (in some ways this is good, as I often am tempted to not say nice things to many of the people on the street who are only concerned with themselves while driving or getting into an elevator).
So I'll learn. I'll go explore. and I'll hide under the covers some days too.
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