Rule 1: Wait for Green Walk signal,unless of course you don't want to wait.
Rule Two: Look Left, Look Right, Look Left, Look Right, Look Left, Look Right, then RUN while maintaining your constant left to right surveillance. You may also want to add the occasionally glance behind and of course, in front of you.
Rule Three: Keep walking. Continue on course across the street with varying speed, changing at a moments notice based upon the following variables: Oncoming traffic through red light; right turning taxis; bicycles and/or scooters going through the red light, green light, coming from the sidewalk ahead or behind you any additional cargo on bicycles and or scooters which may include but is not limited to (all of these I have truthfully seen): 30 foot PVC pipe, a trailer of chairs, a family of four (all on A scooter), carts of pineapples, cardboard, pots and pans, stove tops with attaching propane tank for easy meals along the road etc. Oh, if it is raining many of the bicyclists will be riding one handed because the other hand will be holding an umbrella.
Notice: Pedestrian green arrow means nothing to turning traffic except they might enjoy the color shift. aka Pedestrians do not have the right of way at any point unless there is a herd of you crossing the street and you can put yourself on the opposite side of the incoming vehicle next to rest of the pack. Survival of the fittest.
How to take a Taxi
For fun: let's pretend you've successfully explained where you want to go in Chinese to the cab driver who is facing the opposite direction behind a plastic panel and he heads in the right direction. If you've managed that, you are incredible.
Rule One: Close your eyes for the duration of the taxi ride and your blood pressure will maintain regular levels maybe the rest of your life.
Rule Two: If you ignore rule one, hopefully you have someone's hand to squeeze during the ride. If not, find a door handle and attempt to enjoy the scenery as it goes speedily by.
Rule Three: Do not scream, at any point. You may be light headed by the end of the ride because of the the sharp intakes of breath you have incurred for the 57 accidents that almost happened crossing one intersection. I mean how necessary are those lane lines anyway? They certainly don't exist to bicyclists or anyone on a scooter. Plus, I mean obviously that guy that just pulled out in front of us when we were driving full speed, clearly he has somewhere to be. Until he comes to a complete stop one block later in the middle of the road to say drop someone off.
Rule Four If you notice your boyfriend's eyes suddenly getting larger and larger maintain a cheerful attitude and continue smiling and talking. Laugh offhandedly as you veer suddenly left, 2 cm from the back of a stopped bus and he explains he kept wondering when we were going to slow down.
Rule Five Wear ear plugs. Lots of honking will ensue, even if the traffic in front of you is fine, the cab drivers probably know that two streets over a traffic jam is happening and want to be sympathetic to anyone stopped there. Heck they could be stopped in Singapore and you would hear sympathetic honks here in Shanghai.
And that's just one taxi ride. If you have the heart and medication to try it again, God Speed.
Meanwhile, check out these fun pics from 263m and 350m high in Shanghai's Oriental Pearl Tower, aka giant TV tower with great views of the city (some of which you can see while standing on a glass floor, who doesn't like looking at the ground 259 meters up? answer: me):
You're hilarious. That's a pretty good description of an average taxi ride. I have to say, when you were in town, we had some rather ridiculous rides. I think maybe the drivers were trying to scare you - it's some sort of conspiracy!
ReplyDeleteActually what you don't know is: I learned the Chinese phrase for "drive so fast she screams" and that's why the drivers were always overcharging me ;)
I think you've well captured the idea of Shanghai traffic's underlying principle: "survival of the fittest."